Newt Ratings
The highest possible rating. A near-flawless show that will make the rest of your life seem like a dull sham.
The highest rating usually awarded. A golden moment in life that you will happily relive into your dotage.
A good, solid show. Definitely more worthwhile than browsing for new knickers in Marks & Spencer.
A disappointing show. Some elements of merit, such as carbon or magnesium, but as unsatisfying as a KFC mini fillet.
A bad show. Proof that some people just won't be told.
Torture. Conceived, written and performed by people who hate you, and who want you to return the feeling.
